The Hardships that Made Me
By Helena Gonga Muamba
I lost my parents when I was very young and was forced to move away from the home of the beloved uncle who had taken care of me. From then on, life got even harder. Still, I was determined to keep my head up.
I am the fourth of six siblings. When my parents passed away, we were all separated.
I went to live with my uncle, my mother’s brother, and his family. I was only six years old, almost seven at the time. The environment was completely foreign, but they gave me all the love and attention I needed.
Everything changed the day a cousin asked my uncle to let me live with her in a distant province. She wanted me to become her children's masseca (nanny). I was only ten years old, a child myself.
I moved to Matala, Huíla province. I went to school in the morning, and, in the afternoon, I sold ice-cream, carrying a cooler on my head. It was my first experience in sales. Every day, rain or shine, I was there in that square. It wasn't something for a child my age, but I was forced to do it, or I would be punished severely.
Later, my cousin became pregnant with twins. She went back to Luanda to give birth, and I had to go with them. As a result, I didn't finish the school year.
We moved again to another province, Huambo, and that's when everything changed.
My brother-in-law made it clear that he no longer wanted me to live in his house. Due to the mistreatment, I became a depressed teenager, full of trauma and humiliation. I tried my best to continue seeing the good in things and people.
Eventually, he kicked me out of the house, cursing me and saying that I would be a nobody, that I would get lost in Luanda, that I would have children without a father.
It was a rainy day. I was only 16 years old and thought about giving up on life. What kept me going was my wish to become independent and inspire other women.
After spending a day on the streets, my cousin’s friend took me in until I finished the school year. After this, I returned to Luanda, where I went to live with another aunt.
However, there, I also faced mistrust, because my brother-in-law had made up serious lies about me. I began high school at a private school with two cousins, but after three months, my aunt stopped paying my tuition.
My world fell apart.
I missed a month of school because of the unpaid school fees, while my cousins continued as normal.
To avoid wasting the year, I searched for a job and found work as a nanny. With this job, I was able to resume my studies. However, my problems didn’t stop there.
I had a hard time juggling my household commitments while studying and working at the same time. Even so, I kept going, knowing that my future depended solely on me. Amidst the turmoil, I sought training, taking free courses and attending motivational talks.
I finally managed to graduate from high school at age 19. It was an important milestone, as I was the first in my family to do so. In 2022, I landed my first formal job at a reputable company. Just the following year, I was promoted to team leader, a position I still hold today.
I always say that my hardships made me who I am today. Today, I live alone, study, and work. Every day, I face new challenges, but I always strive to become a better person.
By sharing my story, I want to show that it's possible to achieve your dreams and avoid falling into the world of drugs or prostitution. My goal is to encourage, motivate, and guide other women my age to succeed.
“It was a rainy day. I was only 16 years old and thought about giving up on life. What kept me going was my wish to become independent and inspire other women.”
This story is reproduced from the published book "Voices Without Borders: Women’s Stories of Courage and Resilience", edited and published by the Angolan publishing house É Sobre Nós Editora, and sponsored by the Africa-Europe Foundation.
